Initiating Manila Musings

I have come to the conclusion that I lack consistency. It’s really not rocket science and frankly being able to say it or write it, actually is quite relieving. My last post was when we were just leaving Melbourne in Dec 2008 and moving to Delhi. It’s been more than a year and includes a second move. So we are now in Manila having arrived on Jan 4 2010 after having spent exactly a year in New Delhi (we arrived in New Delhi on 4 Jan 2009). Most people when they hear this say, “I guess you couldn’t adjust”, implying that’s why we left. Nothing could be further from the truth. We loved Delhi; even though the last year was quite challenging, but took what we think is a very “mature” decision primarily for the kids. If I could just go with my heart, that’s without the rational logical thinking, I would say it was a bloody “@!#@$)” decision.

So anyway we are now in Manila. I am back to “blogging” on a chapter that shall be called “MANILA MUSINGS. I am seriously going to try and be more “consistent” and muse on these pages and lot more. But que sera sera ..... what ever wil be will be

Heading towards another "new year"

Its been a month since I have been here but a lots been happening. On the PhD front I have a reprieve till March. That's when I have to submit my final confirmation document and hopefully shift to an external PhD status. But its been tough and very disconcerting experience of having ones ability questioned. Everyone seems to tell me it happens to everyone but boy when it happens to you its just not nice.

Last Saturday we finally had our big "bash" at home which was long over due. About 25 people on absolutely beautiful afternoon/evening. Went off quite well I think but its taken me four days to recover.In the meantime I have an abscess in a very unmentionable part of my anatomy which hurts like hell. So I have been technically out of commission and poor Mohit has had to cope with all the clearing up and a very "painful" me.

Its Christmas eve and our lights are up and shining, thankfully Jai let me off on the tree. Sorting of stuff is all over the place. Planning on seeing the boxing day test and then the packers arrive on Monday morning. I think its finally sinking in that its moving time again!!

Night of terror in Mumbai

Woke up this morning to the horror enfolding in Mumbai. You can't even say "it's like a war zone" it is a war zone with ordinary people being killed before they could even comprehend what's happening. In a selfish way, after making sure one's dear and near ones are safe you watch the images on TV with growing numbness. See policemen without body vests scramble around trying to bring some semblance of order. You see the picture of the ATS chief donning a bullet proof vest only to hear a little latter he has been shot down. Injured being dragged out, smoke and fire and you wonder what happened to the city I grew up in. Which shaped my mind and thoughts, which gave me the confidence to say if you have lived in Mumbai you can survive anywhere!! No, not in negative manner, but that the city infused you with spirit and an undefeated "go get them" attitude. I know its universal that things and places change, you yourself and people move on but for me Mumbai will always be "my city" and just as I say a prayer for my family I say one for families of others, known and unknown- be safe.

There must be something in the air- my past seems to be hit by storms of misfortune. In Bangkok violence escalates and airports have been shut down....whats happening???? Is there a pattern, a prediction that the world is falling apart or has it already happened and nobody quite told anyone, including me.

Mohit's company was supposed to announce the merger with the Indian company today but being sensitive to what's happening have decided to keep quite for a few days. Which makes me wonder about our decisions again. Are we right about the move back to India even if for a few years. Its physical exhausting, obviously much more a security risk than being Melbourne, an emotionally upheaval (for Jai who is stressing about how he will have to make new friends all over again), professional for me damaging.....long distance PhD'S???....well we all know the story on that. As I struggle to answer these questions I wonder why someone does not give me the answers..... if you can please, please do.

The only answer I find when I look at the back of my mind.... and believe me I don't go their often. In some strange way I feel I owe a debt. To the place that most significantly contributes to "who I am" and "what I am". To people who love and accept me....warts wrinkles and all.... and if I do not acknowledge this now, my children will never feel the need to acknowledge me in their quest to find out who and what they are. Does that make any sense ......

So while Mumbai burns and Bangkok hovers on the edge...we have a date to leave Melbourne-4th January 2009. Inshalllah (love that phrase)/god willing.

In between mayhem and madness....Radhika

All thats happening....go with the flow

Okay I know I had promised that I would not fade away with this blogging thing but honestly just so much is happening that its a challenge just to keep up with tying my shoe laces!! Anyway there a couple of things which need to be reported on ..... maybe just so it puts things in perspective for me.

On the PhD front..... oh man this is depressing stuff. You know how all things are going rah rah rah... so very good and every one keeps saying the document's really really good and the presentation was brilliant and there's going to be no problem ....and then splat! you fall face down. The independent examination panel had some issues with the theoretical framework and methodology but what their comments were I am still waiting to hear.

There was lots more of my ranting on this but Aneela has censored it lest I get "dooced".

On the move front.... Yes, seems like its "moving" time again. Just as we were settling down and feeling comfortable SKM has offered Mohit, Delhi. Was for a moment tempted to be a "plodder" and just say no but of course as Didi (wiggling that finger at me) says "you can't be a plodder"(yes I can, yes I want to be ..... please let me be). So yes it is, I think, the right move in Mohit's career, mine's down the drain anyway. It also meant being with "family" and letting Jai and Vir connect to the "roots" in the dust and chaos of New Delhi. It also leaves a small window till 2012 to get back to Australia if we choose to. But like I said que sera sera....whatever will be will be..

Which brings me to the question if Jai is going to think that he had a rich and exciting childhood of living in different countries or hate us for uprooting him all the time. Are we taking advantage of his sunny disposition and ability to make friends. What if he was a shy child who took time settling, would my decisions be the same??? I don't ever think I will be in a position to say I made all the the right choices for my children.... probably all I will be able to say is that I love them and thought I was making the right choices. Hope that works.

Be back shortly ..... this time I mean it

I'm alive and returning....

OK the "Melbourne blogger" is back (my new name courtesy AK, makes me me sound like a serial killer, which just might be the case because the few who read my blog are just dying out of sheer boredom). Sorry for the long hiatus but was caught in a terrible storm of just "things" to be done, called life. Have so much to write about that just don't know where to start.... but since I have my car back from the garage and can go back to listening to Mama Mia songs in relative peace (without the demands for Jonas Brothers/ Queen from an eight year old, yes Jai has some strange taste in music)will start with Mama Mia

OK this was a first for me. I couldn't work out time schedules with some friends to go and watch this movie and others didn't want to match their time schedules with me so in short I had no one to go and see this flick with!! So I went alone. It was a strange feeling till I realised that the movie theater had about 20 people mostly women who had all come alone!!! Ah the Melbourne mums syndrome. Anyway enjoyed the movie and enjoyed even more that I didn't have to share my tub of popcorn and explain what was happening at crucial moments or get tugged off to the bathroom at even more crucial moments.

Of course the best part of Mama Mia wa Pierce Brosnan... and don't go thinking this is some new crush of mine. Let me tell you I have a long standing relationship with the man which started when I was in school and watched him in "black and white" in Remington Steele probably a hundred years ago. But he so very "hot" and I think the fact that his pretty good body is not in absolute perfect shape but a bit saggy around the edges and add to that the wrinkles and grey hair makes him even "hotter".


Yes so the collective hormones in the movie theatre were all in over drive and I most unashamedly had a good letch (not quite sure what the spelling of that is )...leer.

Ok there is some more on the PB impact in my life but that for next time which I promise I will get to very shortly